


leave me completely

by showlove12



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 14:55:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20876078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showlove12/pseuds/showlove12
Summary: Heejin was straight.





	leave me completely

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn’t take place in Korea actually. It’s supposed to be a conservative town in America.

Heejin was straight. 

Because straight doesn’t get unwanted judging stares.

Because straight doesn’t get rumors circling behind your back no matter what you do.

And most importantly, straight made her life so much easier.

When she rejected several of her male classmate’s attempts to ask her to prom it wasn’t because she was not straight, no, she just didn’t want to leave her best friend, Hyunjin, behind. 

Not a lot of guys asked out Hyunjin, probably because she was strong. Mentally and physically. She wasn’t one to give into anyone, especially a guy’s, demands and she could probably beat most of the guys in this school in most sports. Sadly, most guys don’t like strong girls. 

Whatever. 

It was their loss anyways, because Hyunjin was honestly perfect, she was funny, beautiful, and the most caring person Heejin had ever met. If Heejin was a guy she would for sure had fallen for her. But she’s straight, so falling for Hyunjin is out of the picture. Definitely out of the picture.

“Heejin!” 

Speaking of Hyunjin.

“Kim Hyunjin! I’ve been waiting outside your classroom for thirty minutes! Thirty whole minutes!”

Hyunjin gives a charming smile and ruffles the shorter girl’s hair, and Heejin pretends like something didn’t just swell up in her heart.. 

“Sorry, teacher was being a stupid ass and keeping us in, because one kid couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Language!”

Hyunjin chuckles a little bit at her friend’s caution. “Come on, stop being a whiny baby and let me buy you some ice cream!” She grabs the other girl’s hand and drags her out of the school.

———

“So… Hansol huh?” 

Heejin winced a little bit hearing his name. 

“What about him?”

Hyunjin pulled out her phone showing her the many videos, all from different angles, of the same scene. Hansol who had prepared an extravagant promposal, getting rejected by Heejin, hurrying to get to Hyunjin’s last class. 

“I-I well um…” I stuttered uselessly.

“Didn’t you have a crush on him?” Hyunjin provides swiftly.

“Oh yeah, I do.” Heejin remembered suddenly. Her mind was too attached on seeing Hyunjin that she forgot this was the man she was attracted to. 

“Why’d you reject him?” 

“I-I don’t do public stuff well, you know.” That was partly true, but it was mostly to cover up the real reason why she had rejected him.

“Well, you should give him a chance then, alone.”

“No! I mean no, I can’t just leave you alone like that.”

“No Heejin, I won’t let you sacrifice your happiness just for me.”

“I swear it’s fine! I don’t need a date!”

Hyunjin swiftly turns around, and she’s looking at Heejin with an expression of pure fondness that makes the older girl’s heart burst and head hurt. 

“I need you to promise me you’ll talk to him. I don’t want you to give up a chance like this for me.”

“Of course.” Heejin swears, not because she really wants to, but because the look Hyunjin’s giving her, well, who can resist that?

———

It was another one of those lazy days where both of them had finished their homework thanks to combined effort and they end up laying on Heejin’s bed, doing whatever. 

“Hyojin asked me to prom today.” Hyunjin says, breaking the comfortable silence that had formed between them. 

“Kim Hyojin? The most popular boy in our grade?” Heejin questions, feeling a small stab in her heart.

“Yeah.”

“Oh he’s nice, you can bring him along with me and Hansol, it’d be like a double date.” Heejin suggested. In actuality, she would rather not have any dates at all, but she supposes any time with Hyunjin would be good at this point.

“I don’t think I like him.” 

“Oh okay, we’ll find some guy you like then. Prom is in three months, we have time.”

Hyunjin turns to her side, facing Heejin. Heejin quickly does the same out of habit.

“That’s the problem, Heejin. I don’t think I like guys at all.”

“Oh.” Oh. Oh.

“Okay.” Heejin says nonchalantly, her voice soft.

She says it nonchalantly because she doesn’t care. 

She doesn’t care because it doesn’t matter. 

It doesn’t matter because she’s straight.

She’s straight because she isn’t thinking of leaning in and closing the few inches in between them right now and tasting Hyunjin’s chapstick.

———

Heejin can’t sleep. Normally lying next to Hyunjin would be where she slept the best, because she knew the next day she would wake up in Hyunjin’s arms even though they slept completely not touching each other.

Her mind however, keeps playing back to a memory when she was eleven years-old. 

A tiny Heejin walks towards the front door on a bright Sunday morning and picks up the newspaper, handing it to an older man.

The older man dotes on his young daughter, before sipping his coffee and getting started on the newest article. Suddenly however, a look of disgust mars his face.

“Three states legalize same-sex marriage? God, what has this world gone to!”

Heejin’s mom looks back from where she was cooking breakfast with the same look on her face.

“They let these sick people control everything now!” 

Heejin didn’t understand what her parents were so appalled by at the time. It wasn’t until two years later, she finally figured out what they meant and an unsettled feeling arose in the pit of her stomach. 

Heejin shoved this memory out of her head. She forced herself to close her eyes and after what felt like a lifetime, she finally felt the exhaustion hit her. 

For the first time in a while, she doesn’t wake up Hyunjin’s arms. Actually, she’s on the edge of the bed now, the furthest possible distance she can be from Hyunjin.

———

Heejin didn’t talk to Hyunjin after that. Calls were declined, messages left on read, words ignored. Heejin accepted Hansol’s proposal and eventually she became part of his friend group too, Hyunjin now completely left behind. 

Heejin wasn’t surprised when Hansol asked her to be his girlfriend a week before prom. 

She also wasn’t surprised when she saw Hyunjin dancing with another girl, way too close to be just friends.

And Heejin ignores it all, the discomfort she feels when she kisses Hansol, the sharp pang of her heart when she sees Hyunjin, because after all, Heejin is, and will always be straight.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story! Sorry if it was bad, I’m not the best writer.


End file.
